Celebrating GSAM Day

Logged into facebook this morning. Newsfeed read as follows:
- “Fathers day is a joke. So fu*k Fathers Day. Dudes become fathers by accident or in 30 seconds. It takes a real man to be a daddy. You gotta earn that one. So happy Daddies Day to all those Dads out there. Especially those who have taken the place of those 30 second Fathers”
- “Happy Father's Day to all the fathers/dads, sperm donors not included!!!”,
- “Really don’t care too much for this day”,
- “Happy "Fathers Day" to all you dead beat dads”,
- “I hate all men, especially black men!, I hope they all die in a fiery pit in hell!”
…Ok, I made that last one up, but the rest of these are actual “status updates” for… What else? Father’s Day! Bitter much??
The unfortunate truth is that too many young people today (and some older ones as well) have a right to be bitter. Too often do I meet students being raised by single mothers, grandparents, aunts, cousins, friend’s parents or the social welfare system. I’m not breaking any news when I say there are too many missing fathers in the lives of our children today. Too many fleeting fathers, who leave the children behind, while they are in the process of leaving the mother behind. Too many guys with too many excuses about why they don’t have too much time to be in their children’s lives.
My point is not to bash absent fathers. There are plenty of days for that. The question that needs to be raised is, Are YOU sir doing enough to pick up the slack? You, yes you! (No seriously, go look in a mirror right now, then come back and finish reading this blog, I’m really talking about you!). “It takes a village to raise a child” or so the saying goes, right? I don’t know if we have a whole village left, but all movements start with one person. We get upset, when we hear a little boy cursing like a construction worker in the mall, or when we see a little girl half-dressed prancing down the street attracting the wrong kind of attention. But each of us are to be held responsible for this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to go out and snatch that little boy by the ear (he WILL CUT YOU! I am not kidding!). But what I am saying, is set the example for those kids to see. Being present and involved in your children’s lives will impact the children around them. As original as kids claim to be, they really aren’t. Kids are copy cats. If your child has manners, his manners may rub off on that little Marlow Stansfield in his class (Wire reference, sorry I’m addicted). If you daughter is dressed in cute, age appropriate clothes, her little girlfriends are going to ask her where she shops. Peer pressure goes both ways. But all of that starts with US. Not with just allowing the kids to dress however or do whatever, because dad isn’t around.
Yes fathers are important. But for most successful people, there was no one singular person who made them into the person they are today. We don’t live in a vacuum. Yes, my father was involved, I realize my blessing but there were other men: a math teacher , a soccer coach, a friend’s dad, who helped shape my world and my vision of what a good man is. A good man is responsible, hard working, steadfast in his values, but a good man is not PERFECT. And because we are all flawed, it is all of our responsibility to pick up that slack when some MAN falls short.
Let us each be fathers to the kids in the community, even if that just means being a good parent to your own child so that they can be an example to the children around them. I’m not telling you not to be bitter. Hurt is real. But let us not get caught up in those choosing to be absent today, and rather let us focus on those who chose to be present for today. Yeah it’s called “Fathers Day”, but to me, its Good, Strong Active Men in our community today. We all know them, lets each become them. And then maybe next year, my Facebook newsfeed wont be so, d**n bitter!